Arranged Match

A arranged match was "fixed" between two individuals, for marraige, by the elders in the family. The girl, lets call her Hema and the boy, lets call him Dharam underwent or should I say endured the following process:

Round 1:

Dharam's Father : (On a phone call to Hema's father) Namaste ji !!!! Ji, we, I and my Missus, were just passing by your residence, thought we'll come and see (read - check out) your daughter and meet your family, of course, if that is not a problem with you (in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon :-O, of course its a problem, but nevertheless). By the way, Dharam is also with me!!!!

Hema's Father: Arre no ji...not at all...this is your house only...you are most welcome...I will immediately inform Hema's mother...(so that Hema can be made presentable for the occasion!!!!) and reach home in just 30 mins...

At home, Hema's mother hastily makes the preparations...orders a local mithaiwala to send in some "motichoor ke laddoos" immediately along with some "namkeen", "cream biscuits" and "cold drinks". Hema is given instructions to quickly get ready in her best salwaar kameez...she reluctantly obliges!!!!

Dharam and Dharam's parents ARRIVE...rightly so...

Everyone is seated in the drawing room and sipping tea / cold-drinks and looking at the prospective bride and groom :-)

Hema's Mother : (Thinking in her mind) The boy is a little bit dark....hmmmm.... my daughter has more degrees than him....she is M.A....while he is only B.Com...my daughter is also very fair...gori - chitti...thodi  'healthy' hai par thik hai...the boy's personality is also okay...not that great.....hmm... only son ....hmmmm.... well settled in family business....Jackpot :-)

Hema's Father: (Thinking in his mind) Dharam's father is in a related business...good for our family business...hmmm.... only son.... looks a little bit meek...sahi hai...Hema is smarter...of course, compromise toh karna padega...after all, one can't get everything in life....hmmmm...jackpot???!!!!!!

Dharam's Father: (Thinking in his mind) The girl is okay....fair....thodi moti hai...but  my son is also dark and meek...good family...of course, a dowry has to be discussed....could be useful in business also....hmmm...jackpot!!!!!

Dharam's Mother: (Thinking in her mind) The girl is fattttt. Colour is okay...these days dusky girls are preferred...so what if she is fair...but she is definitely fatttttt. More degrees than my son...hmmm....too much education is also not good for the girl...will take some hard work to control her....hmmmm.....but she definitely has to reduce...atleast 10 kgs....has to join VLCC....hmmmm.....jackpot :-x

For the first 5 mins, only the sound of munching biscuits....and sipping of the cold drinks and tea is heard...after a while, Hema's father begins the conversation...

Round 2

Hema's father: So what do you think Ji....the children will look good together.... we toh ji like your son...simple and sober and shy (read submissive / meek)....Ji, your family is also good.... By God, Dharam's mother is also so simple and nice and quiet (well - as long as it lasts!!!)...

Hema's mother: Have some more namkeen ji...this is the best namkeen in this city !!! (Offering them the plate)

Dharam's father: Hmmmm... the girl is also good...simple and sober and shy and educated...(*Dharam's mother rolling her eyes*) What do you think Dharam ki maa?

Dharam's mother: Dekho ji, we like the girl.... but she is a bit fat.... she has to join VLCC....(Vandana Luthra will be sooooo happy)...we are a simple family...and we want a simple girl who will adjust...(read - education be damned...I am the boss)...

Hema's mother: Arre Dharam ki maa, do not worry at all.....our daughter is very obedient...(well - atleast she will be intially)... I have taught her everything...she makes very good Chole Bhature....She has made that for lunch today...you must have lunch and then only go....

Round 3:

Dharam's mother:  Hmmmm.....Ji, thik hai....

Dharam's father:    Hmmmm...thik hai ji....

Hema's father:       (*Smiling*) thik hai ji....

Hema's monther:   (*Smiling* - offering the "motichoor ke laddoss" ) these are best "motichoor ke laddoss" in the city ji...:-)

Hema's mother: Ae Ji, let the children talk for a little while....even they should know each other better...now that they are going to be life partners....Beta, you can go to the TV room and chat for a while (*smiling broadly*)....

The "children" apparently leave for the TV room and actually watch TV....leaving their elders to talk about other details!!!!!

Round 4:

Dharam's father: Ji, the marraige will take place in our city....and as told to you earlier also (referring to Hema's father), we will finalise the budget...Rs. XX,XX,XXX ...

Hema's Father: Ji, I am perfectly fine with this...but we will definitely have one small function over here also!!!!

Both the mothers are nodding in unison!!!!

Dharam's mother: Please buy more sarees for Hema......since we wear a lot of sarees....and yes - no jeans allowed...it is not in our culture you see....

Hema's mother: Dont you worry Samdhan ji....I will arrange for everything as per your requirement (read "including gold")...:-)

Hema: (thinking "ho gaya....life ka kachra....") *sigh*

Dharam: (thinking "Happy Budday") *sigh*

P.S. It happens only in India.