Introspection

Introspection. For the year that went by. Have a mixed bag of feelings. Good and not so good. This year just....went by. And that is why I felt I need to sit down and introspect ...how did it just go... The thought coming to my head right now is that I just went with the flow. Absolutely had no plan. Or the plan in my head and the actions on the ground were totally different. Maybe that is why, I have mixed feelings.

I guess I know what went wrong...perhaps wrong is not the correct word. Amiss. What went amiss. I, as a person, am a control freak. I hate loosing control of myself, my thoughts, my actions and up-to a certain extent my surroundings or circumstances. 

I do not want to start a "cribbing session" out here but may be  I was not strong headed enough or assertive enough. I just went with the flow. I took the expectations from others from myself a bit too seriously perhaps. "Perhaps" I was bogged down trying to rise up to their expectations. Maybe. Maybe not. I became quite verbal at times. Did not think of the consequences. But then, I never have. That is not me. 

Yes - I am not happy with me myself. I am not content the way 2012 turned out for  me. I did not visit this space often which is an outlet of sorts for me. My silly, stupid ventures, my rumblings and grumblings are out here. But this time, I did not even do that. 

Reminds me of a few lines I had written here..my own words quite sometime back. I guess its time to revisit those words here.

2013 is important for me. I seriously believe women are a much more enhanced species then their counterparts and are a wonderful set of managers. I am sure, I hope, I will, manage 2013 much more effectively then the mess I created in 2012. 

P.S. I am not going to paste any picture which I normally do. But please go ahead and the poem when you click the link on "here".

Cleaning and Dusting

With festivals round the corner, I have been breaking my back over cleaning and dusting my place. Here, I take this opportunity to thank God who has gifted me with a such a wonderful househelp - Padma Kaki. She has been actively helping me out - no, she I have been lazily helping her out to clean up our home. I just had to tell her my intentions, and KABOOM --> the plan was set...and the execution even severe. Tomorrow shall be last day of cleaning. YAY!!!!! 

Cleaning and dusting is a very therapeutic activity for me. Very relaxing. I feel a lot of positivity in a a clean place. It frees you of the clutter in your home, in your space and hence it positively affects the corners of your mind too. Although, hubby dearest does not approve :-P... he likes things a bit messy...a bit scattered...his favourite quote is 'We live in a home, not a hotel'... 'I like things being imperfect...out of place'... Me- I am old school. Firmly believe, everything has an appointed place...and that - only that - is its right place. If its not that 'that' right place, then its out of place. If its out of place, then its -MESSY, - SCATTERED....

Hmmmm... With time, I would like to believe ;-), that we've found a middle ground, especially with Padma Kaki to the rescue for the annual, pre-Diwali, cleaning, I chew his brains a little bit lesser!!!!

Cleaning has its advantages... Have packed 2 cartons of old clothes to be given away. No books. I don't give away books as a rule. They are sacred to me. I discovered some old letters. Went through them again. Will post about them sometime :-). Some pieces of junk jewellery :-). Yeah - that too. Finally getting rid of them. And yes - that pair of old college jeans - when I thought, I could get back into them once again :-P...I kept them for 5 long years...yeah, am smiling about that....I yet dream about going to back to that size. Some nicks and pieces. All neatly stacked and packed ready to be given away. There's so much space created. Off with the old and the new is awaited (Applicable for old, non usable, crapy things only :-)). 

Tomorrow or perhaps day after shall be last day of cleaning and I truly have only Kaki to thank for that :-). 

Your warmth

Your Warmth, 

Protects me from the cold

Around Us!!!

Thank You!!!

Source: Pic from my Home@Ahmedabad

Photographer: Mayank Garg

There are days....and then there are days....And when you are thinking of the days gone by...you realise that some of those days have been so special....This is a "Thank You" ....for one of those days...

2006: The year when Munish and me decided to spend our lives together

Strange are the ways of destiny... sometimes things happen when you least expect them to happen... :-) Munish and me had been good friends during college...Well-we were never the best of friends...never ever thought that we'd end up spending our lives together...

But I guess what will be ...will be....

Like they say, 'The heart has its reasons... which reason does not know!!!! "

We, in our own little important ways, were moving towards another life...but I guess Destiny had other plans....

However, after all the hankering, running around, discussions - wise and otherwise, what did materialize was my life with Munish ....:-)

[Thank God - well literally :-)]

Now before I get all mushy, on a day post Valentine's day, I wish I could understand the patterns or paths our lives take ..... the twists and the turns... and of course, the everlasting, never ending....HAPPY ENDING!!!!

Our wedding invite :-)

P.S. Happy Valentines Day !!!!!

How true!!!

So simple, so true.... a person is a culmination of some thoughts, feelings, experiences, exposure..... each day adds something new to you... some people make an impression in your lives and some just pass by.... but each moment well spent adds something to you... makes a new you.... makes an "additional" you.... and then I meet you every morning, evening.... I talk to  you and disturb you during work :) and I fall for you.... all over again!!!!

Looking for you

Another one shared betweeen us in September 07. One of the poems from the WWW service
I cant honestly say that i was looking for u,
And i doubt if u were looking for me,
.......But it happened.......
And here we are..... two people,
Just happy being together,
Not knowing where to go,
But very sure, that wherever it is,
We’ll be going there..... together

By the Way

Had received these lines from my husband couple of days before marraige (Marraige was on 19th April, 08, he sent these on 3rd April, 08).... had one of our arguements pertaining to marraige and arrangements. The lines ain't original but nevertheless....
"
I love you because you make me happy
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days
better
At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, and
feeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand... reality hits that you
are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.
I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like
there is no tomorrow
And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the
love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.
I love your laugh
I love hearing your voice
I love that you try so hard to go along with my family and friends, no matter how much
you dislike them, or who they are.
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
But the main reason I love you is because.....
You are you! "
Ain't original. But then does that matter...
Love
Munish