Introspection

Introspection. For the year that went by. Have a mixed bag of feelings. Good and not so good. This year just....went by. And that is why I felt I need to sit down and introspect ...how did it just go... The thought coming to my head right now is that I just went with the flow. Absolutely had no plan. Or the plan in my head and the actions on the ground were totally different. Maybe that is why, I have mixed feelings.

I guess I know what went wrong...perhaps wrong is not the correct word. Amiss. What went amiss. I, as a person, am a control freak. I hate loosing control of myself, my thoughts, my actions and up-to a certain extent my surroundings or circumstances. 

I do not want to start a "cribbing session" out here but may be  I was not strong headed enough or assertive enough. I just went with the flow. I took the expectations from others from myself a bit too seriously perhaps. "Perhaps" I was bogged down trying to rise up to their expectations. Maybe. Maybe not. I became quite verbal at times. Did not think of the consequences. But then, I never have. That is not me. 

Yes - I am not happy with me myself. I am not content the way 2012 turned out for  me. I did not visit this space often which is an outlet of sorts for me. My silly, stupid ventures, my rumblings and grumblings are out here. But this time, I did not even do that. 

Reminds me of a few lines I had written here..my own words quite sometime back. I guess its time to revisit those words here.

2013 is important for me. I seriously believe women are a much more enhanced species then their counterparts and are a wonderful set of managers. I am sure, I hope, I will, manage 2013 much more effectively then the mess I created in 2012. 

P.S. I am not going to paste any picture which I normally do. But please go ahead and the poem when you click the link on "here".